today was such a strange day, a whole day in a motel room, in green river, utah, a non-town on the highway between salt lake city and moab, a town of nothing, just a strip of gas stations, abandoned buildings, empty parks, etc, the loneliest place on earth, surely, especially on a sunday, and i hate sundays anyway because i always find them so depressing. who else hates sundays? i dont know anyone, most people are into them.
tomorrow i am flying back to toronto to pack up our things and spend time with my friends there. jennie left this morning on the greyhound to salt lake city. the greyhound bus leaves from this motel, that’s why we’re staying here, because the bus leaves at 5am, and the motel is nearly the same price as the RV park, or only ten bucks more. tomorrow morning at 5am i will catch the same bus to salt lake city then catch the plane to toronto via denver. bj is going to go back to moab to hang out while im gone and work and ride his mountain bike.
bj has worked all day today in the motel room, i have been doing various things including the following: cleaning the van, getting stuff to take, packing, lunch and dinner, the internet, sorting, making lists of 3 items or less, 2/3 of a $2 dvd i bought at the truck stop here, downloading a tale of two cities by charles dickens from librivox.org, feeling slightly anxious about the fact that im off to canada tomorrow, leaving bj, and also feeling slightly anxious just because im spending all day in a motel room, in a lonely non-town in utah.
at one point because i wanted to get some sun, i asked the girl at the desk if downtown was in walking distance, she laughed at me and then she told me there is no downtown, all there is is this strip of truck stops. bj and i went for a walk and thats when i realised it was the most depressing place on earth, the only sign of life we saw was some people selling melons and pumpkins, we thought about buying a melon but we dont have the right knife.
but who can live in a town like this? in my heart of hearts, i wonder how anyone can. or at least how they can without feeling sad every day of their lives. its not the size of the population per se, but the way the buildings outnumber the people, like there’s meant to be more people to inhabit the buildings, but lots of the people have gone. sad. too lonely for words. i wonder if people who live here are sad and don’t even know it because they’ve never been anywhere happier. i realise this is a culturally-centric perspective. but the “life” here feels seriously “lack lustre”.
so now im going to try and read my book or do a crossword, im excited to see my friends in toronto, serena is meeting me at the airport, what a gal.
(please be sure to see photo below in the previous post)